If you’re looking for a way to bring a smile to your wine-loving friends, why not try a few wine jokes? While some jokes can be a bit cheesy, there are some really funny wine jokes out there that will have everyone laughing out loud. Whether you’re a connoisseur of reds or whites, you’ll find plenty of jokes to keep the fun going. From corks popping to the dreaded wine headache, there’s a joke for every occasion. So, grab a glass of your favorite vino and get ready to have a good laugh at these hilarious wine jokes!
How to Use Wine Jokes?
Humor can be a great way to lighten the mood, especially when you’re out with friends or family. Wine jokes are a great way to get a conversation going and make everyone feel at ease. They’re also great for bringing out the laughter and having a little fun. So, if you’re looking to add some vine-related hilarity to your next gathering, here’s how to use wine jokes.
1. Choose the Appropriate Time
When you’re at a gathering, it’s important to pick the right time to make your wine joke. Make sure the joke doesn’t take away from the conversation or feel out of place. If the conversation is about a serious topic, your joke might not be the best idea. However, if the conversation is lighthearted, then a wine joke can be a fun way to keep the conversation going.
2. Be Careful With the Punchline
When you’re telling a joke, the punchline is what makes it funny. So, when you’re telling a wine joke, make sure you don’t offend anyone with the punchline. If there’s something in the joke that could be perceived as offensive, consider skipping it or replacing it with something more appropriate.
3. Delivering the Joke
When it comes to delivering the joke, the way you tell it is just as important as what you’re saying. Practice using gestures, facial expressions, and pauses to emphasize the joke. This will make the joke funnier and will help it land better with your audience.
4. Have Fun
At the end of the day, the most important thing is to have fun. Wine jokes should be a way to add some lightheartedness to a gathering, not take away from it. So, don’t take the jokes too seriously, laugh at yourself, and enjoy the laughs that come your way.
Related: 93 Best Dark Humored Orphan Jokes
Funny Wine Jokes
- Why do they call it “whine” instead of “wine”? Because after too many glasses, that’s all you’ll be doing!
- What do you call a person who doesn’t like wine? A wine-not.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a bottle of wine? Frosty the Snow-drunk!
- Why did the grape go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t get a date.
- What kind of wine do ghosts like? Boo-zy.
- What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing; it just let out a little wine.
- What did the wine say when it was sad? I’m feeling a little corked up.
- Why did the wine glass go out with the beer mug? Because it was looking for a bigger buzz.
- How did the wine bottle know it was full? It felt its corkscrew.
- What did the wine say after it was uncorked? Ahh, that’s better!
- Why did the wine glass take a break from drinking? It needed to refill.
- What did the wine glass say when it saw the beer mug? What’s up, bubbly?
- What did the wine glass say after a long night of drinking? I’m feeling corked!
- What did the wine glass say when it was empty? Guess I’m corked again.
- What did the wine glass say when it was ready to drink? Cheers!
- What do you call a wine-loving ghost? A spirits connoisseur.
- Why did the grape feel depressed? Because it was in a vine-ful relationship.
- What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- How do you know when you’ve had too much wine? When you can’t remember the last sip.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Where did the cork go after it fell off the wine bottle? Everywhere, it rolled.
- What did the wine connoisseur say when asked for advice? Trust your palate.
- What did the grape say when it was harvested? Oh, great now I can be wine!
- What did the mother grape say to her children? You must be grapeful for what you have.
- What did the grape say when it was picked at the vineyard? You had me at Merlot!
- What did the wine connoisseur say when asked for wine recommendations? I suggest you drink what you like.
- Why don’t winemakers have a sense of humor? Because they’re always taking themselves so seriously.
- What’s a wine’s favorite type of workout? A grapevine!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why don’t they serve red wine at a nudist colony? Because it can leave a bad stain!
- I never drink wine to forget my troubles. I just enjoy the company of my troubles while drinking wine.
- What do you call a fake wine? A grape imposter.
- Wine not?!
- Why did the grape break up with his girlfriend? She was a real sour grape.
- A grape walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve fruit in here.” The grape replied, “That’s okay, I’m here to wine and dine.”
- Why do they call it Merlot? Because after one glass, you’ll be merlot of things.
- What do you call a group of people drinking wine? The Grapeful Dead.
How do you know if someone is a true wine lover? They’ll never whine about drinking wine. - Why did the wine connoisseur break up with his girlfriend? She just didn’t measure up to his wine standards.
- What do you call a wine that’s been stolen? A burgundy.
- I don’t always drink wine, but when I do, I prefer to share it with someone who also knows how to pronounce “Malbec” correctly.
- Why did the grape break up with his girlfriend? She was always raisin’ the bar too high.
- I told my wife I was going to make a wine-based cocktail. She asked if it was going to be a “whine-based” cocktail.
- I have a very expensive wine that is kept in the trunk of my car. It’s my car-donnay.
- Why did the grape go to college? To become a raisin.
- What’s a wine’s favorite type of shoe? A cork heel.
- I went to a wine-tasting and the sommelier asked me to describe the wine’s flavor. I said it tasted like a $20 bill.
- What do you call a bear that steals wine? A wine thief.
- Why don’t oysters share their wine? Because they’re shellfish.
- I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a wine selection problem.
Cheesy Wine Jokes
- What do you call a wine lover who’s also a mathematician? A numbtles.
- Why do wine tasters always swirl their glasses? To make sure the wine gets oxygenated.
- What do you call a wine tasting party for ghosts? A haunting.
- What did the grape do when it saw the wine glass? It sighed and said, Finally, I’m getting out of this bunch!
- What did the wine say when it saw the bottle opener? It’s about time!
- What did the grape say after it was fermented? This is the life!
- Why did the winemaker cross the road? To get to the vineyard.
- How do you make a white wine? You just wait!
- Why did the grape smile when it saw the cork? It was finally getting some real attention!
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
- What do you call a group of adults who love wine? The grape expectations.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. And what do you call fake wine? Imvino.
- How does a grape answer the phone? With Ahoy-hoy!
- What’s a wine’s favorite type of candy? Merlot-ted milk balls.
- Why did the winemaker get a new dog? To help him with the grape harvest.
- What’s a wine’s favorite TV show? The Grape British Bake Off.
- What do you call it when a cork breaks while opening a bottle of wine? A tragedy of grapes.
- Why did the wine judge break up with her boyfriend? He was too grape-y for her.
- Why don’t aliens like wine? Because they prefer to drink grape-fruit juice.
- What do you call a bear that doesn’t like wine? A teetotaler.
- Why did the grape go to the doctor? It was feeling a little wine-sy.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- What’s a wine’s favorite word? Corkscrew.
- How do you know when a bottle of wine is empty? It stops whining.
- Why did the grape break up with his girlfriend? She was always vine-ing about everything.
- What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- What’s a wine’s favorite musical instrument? The cork-et.
- Why did the grape get a job as a detective? It wanted to get to the bottom of things.
- Why did the grape feel uncomfortable at the party? Because it was surrounded by too many crushes.
- Why don’t they serve wine at a lumberjack convention? Because they prefer to have log-a-boozes.
- What do you call a wine with an attitude? A Merlo-to-the-Rescue.
- What do you call a group of people who love wine and running? The Corkscrewed Runners.
- Why was the wine angry? Because it was bottled up inside.
- What’s a wine’s favorite book genre? Whodunit mysteries.
- What do you call a wine that’s over a century old? Vine-oldest.
- Why did the grape farmer go on vacation? He needed to wine down.
- What do you call a bear that likes wine? A mer-lion.
- What did the grape say when it got squeezed too hard? Please release me, let me go.
- Why don’t astronauts drink red wine in space? Because they don’t want to have a weightless whine.
Best Wine Jokes
- I tried to organize a wine-tasting tournament, but it was hard to get people to whine up.
- Why did the winemaker bring a ladder to the vineyard? To reach the high notes.
- What do you call a bottle of wine that’s been autographed by a celebrity? A Merlot-stache.
- How do you make a wine enthusiast angry? Put ice in their red wine.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- What’s a wine’s favorite pickup line? I heard you were aged to perfection.
- Why did the wine bottle need a lawyer? Because it got corked.
- What’s a wine’s favorite social media platform? Vinestagram.
- How do you make a wine disappear? Pour it into a glass.
- Why did the wine critic go to jail? He got too drunk on a grape escape.
- Why did the wine go to the gym? To get stronger vino muscles.
- What’s a wine’s favorite kind of music? The grape-est hits.
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
- What’s a wine’s favorite snack? Cheese, please!
- How does a wine lover greet another wine lover? Wine not?
- Why did the wine snob refuse to drink boxed wine? Because it wasn’t barrel-aged.
- What did the grape say when it got stomped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
- What do you call a winemaker who’s not very good at his job? A grape-fruit.
- Why don’t they serve red wine in space? Because it would stain the spaceship.
- What do you call a wine that’s always full of itself? Champagne.
- What’s a wine’s favorite hobby? Vine-tage shopping.
- Why did the wine bottle need a map? Because it was lost in the cellar.
- What’s a wine’s favorite sport? Grapevollyball.
- Why did the grape get a job as a bank teller? It wanted to be in the vine-nancial industry.
- What did the grape say when it was offered a job promotion? “I’ll wine about it and then accept.”
- Why did the wine critic give the bottle a bad review? It just didn’t make pour sense.
- What do you call a bottle of wine that’s also a musician? A cork-screwdriver.
- Why did the grape go to the doctor? It was feeling a little un-corked.
- How do you make a cat love wine? Pour it into a meow-th.
- What did the grape say when it saw its reflection in the mirror? “Oenophile-lookin’ good.”
- Why do vampires prefer red wine? Because it’s a lot harder to get out of those pesky little white teeth!
- What did the wine bottle say to the glass? You look empty!
- What did the fish say when he saw a bottle of wine? I want to get Pinot!
- Why did the winemaker decide to stop making wine? He realized that everyone was just bottling it up, not drinking it!
- Why did the grape become a wine? Because it wanted to be fermented!
- What did the judge say when the defendant asked for a bottle of red wine? Objection! I’m going to have to drink it first!”
- What did the grape say to the wine-maker? You should put me in a bottle, I’m too good to be free!”
- Why did the winemaker go to the doctor? He was having a bad case of wine-itis!
- Why did the grape cross the road? He was trying to escape from the winery!
- What did the grape say when the winemaker asked him why he was so sour? Because I’m a grumpy old raisin!
More Wine Jokes
- What do you call a drunkard’s fear of vampires? Cabernetophobia.
- Why did the grape break up with the raisin? Because it was time to raisin the stakes.
- How does a wine expert greet their friends? Wine, wine, wine!
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- How do you know if you’re drinking too much wine? When you start talking back to the sommelier.
- Why did the winemaker quit his job? Because he just didn’t have the bottle for it.
- What do you call a bear that’s been drinking wine all day? A “sloshed” bear.
- How do you make a wine cold without putting it in the fridge? You put it in a Chardonnay-cooler.
- Why did the wine connoisseur go to the bank? To get his “Chardonnayyy!” (Shawty got low)
- What do you call it when a bottle of red wine and a bottle of white wine get in a fight? A cork war.
- What do you call a group of people who drink wine together? The grape company!
- Why was the wine feeling lonely? It had no body to drink with.
- Why don’t they serve red wine at the beach? Because it will give the sand a headache.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. What do you call fake wine? In-wine-dible!
- How do you make a small fortune in the wine business? Start with a large fortune!
- What is a wine lover’s favorite plant? The grape-vine!
- What do you call a person who talks non-stop about wine? A somm-ulis.
- Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
- What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- What did the grape say when it got stomped on by an elephant? Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
Benefits on Using Wine Jokes
Fun and Lighthearted
One of the best things about wine jokes is that they’re lighthearted and fun. Not only are they a great way to start off a conversation, but they can often lead to some great conversations about wine and the culture around it.
Educational
Wine jokes can also be a great way to learn a bit more about wine. Many of the jokes and quips about wine can help you to understand various aspects of wine, from wine grape varieties to the different types of wines and how they are made.
Way to Connect with Others
If you’re a wine enthusiast, then wine jokes can be a great way to connect with other wine lovers. Wine jokes can be used as ice-breakers and can help you to form connections with other people who share your passion for wine.
Part of Wine Culture
Wine jokes are an important part of the wine culture, as they have been around for centuries as part of wine tasting and pairings. Knowing some of the classic wine jokes can be a great way to show your knowledge and appreciation for the culture around wine.
Memorable
One of the best things about wine jokes is that they are often very memorable. A good wine joke can stick in your memory, and be recalled over and over, so you can amuse your friends and family with a great wine joke.
Conclusion
We hope these wine jokes made you laugh, and that they offered a good break from the usual routine. While in moderation, wine can be a great part of a healthy lifestyle, it’s also important to remember to consume alcohol responsibly. So, grab a glass of your favorite wine, sit back, and enjoy the humor of these jokes!
