Little Johnny jokes have been around for generations. They’re the kind of jokes that parents have been telling their kids since the time of the dinosaurs. Little Johnny jokes are known to be silly, innocent, and often times a bit naughty. No matter your age, Little Johnny jokes can make you laugh and bring a smile to your face.
Little Johnny jokes can be a lot of fun to share with friends, family, and even strangers. They have a way of lightening the mood and making everyone laugh. They also give us an opportunity to bond with one another and totalk about things in a humorous way.
History of Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny jokes have been around since at least the early 1900s, providing countless hours of laughter and entertainment. Although the origins of these funny jokes are unknown, their popularity among children, families, and communities around the world is undeniable. Whether it’s a classic one-liner or an outrageous pun, Little Johnny jokes have become a staple in popular culture.
Best Little Johnny Jokes You Can’t Miss
Why did the little Johnny go to the doctor? Because he was having trouble with his head!
What did the little Johnny say when he got a new toy? ‘That’s not fair, my sister got one too!
Why did the teacher give little Johnny a puzzle? So he could learn how to solve problems!
Why did the dad take little Johnny fishing? So he could catch a big one!
Why did the little Johnny go to the dentist? Because he had a cavity!
What is Little Johnny’s favourite vegetable? Spaghetti, because it’s always a little long!
Why did Little Johnny not do his homework? His teacher said it was too hard. Little Johnny replied, “I think it’s just too easy.”
What did Little Johnny’s father say when he caught his son eating candy in the middle of the night? “It’s lucky I caught you or it would’ve been a sweet dream.”
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he was late to school? My alarm clock didn’t go off, so I had to take the bus.
What did Little Johnny’s mother say when he asked for a glass of milk? It’s better than asking for a cow!
What did Little Johnny’s father say when his son asked for a raise? You’re already getting the milk for free!
What did Little Johnny’s sister say when he asked her for a toy? If you want a toy, go to the store and buy it yourself.
What did Little Johnny’s teacher say when he asked if he could leave class early? No, you’re already leaving the class late!
What did Little Johnny’s father say when his son asked to borrow his car? You’re too young, you don’t even have a driver’s license!
What did Little Johnny’s mother say when he asked for a snack? Wait until dinner, you already had dessert!
Why did Little Johnny cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why did Little Johnny fail his driver’s test? He was parallel parking in a different dimension.
How does Little Johnny make coffee? He steals it from the adult’s cups.
Why did Little Johnny put his pencil in the freezer? He wanted to have a cool write.
What does Little Johnny say when his teacher says, “I’ll give you a C- for effort”? “Thanks, I’ll take a B- for a slice of pizza.”
Why did Little Johnny run away from home? His parents told him to follow his dreams.
Why did Little Johnny’s math book look mad? Because it had too many problems.
Why did Little Johnny wear a helmet to school? To protect his homework.
How does Little Johnny react when he’s told he has to read a 1000-page book? He starts page 998 and says, “the end is near.”
Why did Little Johnny get in trouble at the library? He tried to check out the lunch lady.
Why did Little Johnny fail his driving test? Because he was steering with his elbows.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him to go to the blackboard? “I don’t have to go to the blackboard, I already have a permanent marker.”
Why did Little Johnny put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
Why did Little Johnny take his music player to the doctor? He wanted to see if it had any rhythm.
Why did Little Johnny ask for a seat belt for his birthday? He wanted to play race car.
What did Little Johnny say when his mother asked him to clean his room? “I can’t do it, it’s too far away.”
Why did Little Johnny get kicked out of the library? He was caught reading a dirty magazine.
What did Little Johnny say when his mother asked him why he was crying? “I got lost on the way to the bathroom.”
Why did Little Johnny run away from home? He didn’t like the way his parents handled the chores.
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to see if he could reach the top shelf.
What did Little Johnny say when he found a pencil in his ear? “I must have heard it right.”
Why did Little Johnny refuse to take his lunch to school? He heard the cafeteria was serving hot dogs.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he was late? “My dad said, ‘Don’t go to school today, Johnny, the teachers aren’t paid enough.'”
Why did Little Johnny hide his report card in the fridge? He wanted a cool grade.
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a UFO? “Look, a flying saucer!”
Why did Little Johnny’s dog howl at the moon? He heard Little Johnny was a werewolf.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him if he could count to ten? “No, but I can count to potato.”
Why did Little Johnny run away from home? He heard his parents say, “We can’t afford to keep him.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “I hope it’s not another brother.”
Why did Little Johnny put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a UFO? “Take me to your candy store!”
Why did Little Johnny run away from home? He heard his parents say, “We can’t afford to keep him.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “I hope it’s not another brother.”
Why did Little Johnny hide his report card in the fridge? He wanted a cool grade.
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a man with a broken leg? “I hope he gets better soon, so he can run faster.”
Why did Little Johnny refuse to take his lunch to school? He heard the cafeteria was serving hot dogs.
What did Little Johnny say when he found a pencil in his ear? “I must have heard it right.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to see if he could reach the top shelf.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him if he could count to ten? “No, but I can count to potato.”
Why did Little Johnny put his money in the oven? He wanted warm cash.
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a UFO? “Look, a flying pizza!”
Why did Little Johnny run away from home? He heard his parents say, “We’re sending him to military school.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “I hope it’s a girl, so she can take care of the baby.”
Why did Little Johnny hide his report card in the fridge? He wanted to keep it fresh.
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a man with a broken leg? “I hope he gets better soon, so he can jump higher.”
Why did Little Johnny refuse to take his lunch to school? He heard the cafeteria was serving broccoli.
What did Little Johnny say when he found a pencil in his ear? “I must have heard it write.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to get a higher education.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him if he could count to ten? “No, but I can count to pretzel.”
Why did Little Johnny run away from home? He heard his parents say, “We’re sending him to boarding school.”
What did Little Johnny say when he found out he was going to be a big brother? “I hope it’s a robot, so I don’t have to change its diaper.”
Why did Little Johnny hide his report card in the fridge? He wanted to keep it chilled.
What did Little Johnny say when he saw a man with a broken leg? “I hope he gets better soon, so he can dance better.”
Why did Little Johnny refuse to take his lunch to school? He heard the cafeteria was serving liver.
What did Little Johnny say when he found a pencil in his ear? “I must have heard it draw.”
Why did Little Johnny bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to climb to the top of the social ladder.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him if he could count to ten? “No, but I can count to French fry.”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The teacher replied, “Little Johnny, may I suggest you use some punctuation, like saying, ‘Can I go to the bathroom?’ instead.”
Little Johnny was asked by his mother, “What did you learn in school today?” Johnny replied, “I learned that George Washington was the first president of the United States.” His mother asked, “What else did you learn?” Johnny replied, “I also learned that he never told a lie.” His mother said, “That’s great. What did you learn about lying?” Little Johnny replied, “I learned that it’s not good and can get you into trouble.”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny replied, “I want to be a magician.” The teacher asked, “Why?” Little Johnny replied, “So I can make my teacher disappear.”
Little Johnny’s father asked him, “What did you do at school today?” Little Johnny replied, “I learned about the difference between ignorance and apathy.” His father asked, “What’s the difference?” Little Johnny replied, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What are the five words that describe your personality?” Little Johnny replied, “I’m lazy, I’m goofy, I’m wild, I’m crazy, and I’m funny.”
Little Johnny’s mother asked him, “Why do you always get into trouble in class?” Little Johnny replied, “Because I have too much energy and I can’t sit still.” His mother asked, “What do you want me to do about it?” Little Johnny replied, “Give me a Red Bull, Mom!”
Little Johnny’s father asked, “What did you learn in language arts class today?” Little Johnny answered, “I learned that irony is when you say something and mean the opposite, but I still don’t understand it.”
How does Little Johnny make coffee? Black, just like his soul.
Why did Little Johnny fail his math exam? Because he thought x was a kiss at the end of a text.
Why did Little Johnny put a clock in the freezer? He wanted to have cold time.
Why did Little Johnny put his money in the freezer? He wanted to have cold hard cash.
How does Little Johnny start a fire? With a lighter and a smile.
Why did Little Johnny join the choir? He wanted to sing in harmony with the toilet.
Why did Little Johnny break up with his girlfriend? He said she was too clingy, like cellophane.
Why did Little Johnny fall off his bike? Because he couldn’t keep his balance, unlike his lies.
Why did Little Johnny stop playing video games? He wanted to experience real life, not just level up.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher sent him to the Principal’s office? I didn’t do it, whichever one of you did, take the blame!
What did Little Johnny say when his parents told him to clean his room? But I already did that yesterday!
What did Little Johnny say when his mom asked him to take out the trash? I would but I’m still trying to figure out where it goes!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he was late? I was trying to be on time, but the clock kept running away from me!
What did Little Johnny say when his dad asked him why he didn’t do his chores? I don’t know, they just didn’t get done!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he wasn’t paying attention in class? I was, but my mind just kept wandering!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked why he wasn’t doing his homework? I was too busy thinking about the answer!
What did Little Johnny say when his dad asked him why he was eating so much candy? I’m just trying to get my daily allowance of sugar!
What did Little Johnny say when his mom asked him why he was so messy? Mom, I’m just embracing my inner creative chaos!
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he talked so much in class? I just have so much to say!
Little Johnny was playing outside when he saw a plane in the sky. He asked his mom, “What’s that?” His mom replied, “That’s a plane, Johnny.” Johnny said, “Wow, what does it do?” His mom replied, “It takes people places.” Johnny said, “Oh, so it’s like a taxi for the sky?”
Little Johnny was at the store one day when he saw a man with a pet iguana. Johnny asked, “What kind of pet is that?” The man replied, “It’s an iguana.” Johnny said, “Cool. Does he do tricks?” The man replied, “No, not really.” Johnny said, “That’s a shame. He should learn some, so he can join the circus!”
Little Johnny was walking home from school one day when he saw a fire hydrant. He asked his dad, “What’s that?” His dad replied, “It’s a fire hydrant.” Johnny said, “Cool. What does it do?” His dad replied, “It helps firefighters put out fires.” Johnny said, “Ah, so it’s like a giant water gun!”
Little Johnny was at the zoo one day when he saw a kangaroo. He asked his mom, “What kind of animal is that?” His mom replied, “It’s a kangaroo.” Johnny said, “Cool. Can it jump?” His mom replied, “Yes, it can jump very high.” Johnny said, “Wow, it must be like a bunny on steroids!”
Little Johnny was in church one day when he saw a woman wearing a big hat. He asked his dad, “What’s that?” His dad replied, “It’s a hat.” Johnny said, “Cool. What does it do?” His dad replied, “It helps her look nice.” Johnny said, “Ah, so it’s like makeup for your head!”
Little Johnny was at the park one day when he saw a ladybug. He asked his mom, “What kind of bug is that?” His mom replied, “It’s a ladybug.” Johnny said, “Cool. Can it fly?” His mom replied, “Yes, it can fly very fast.” Johnny said, “Wow, it must be like a tiny airplane!”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher why he had not done his homework the night before. Johnny replied, “I didn’t have time. My dad said he needed help with his taxes and he made me do it instead.”
Little Johnny was walking down the street with a box of chocolates. When someone asked him what was inside, Johnny replied, “A worm.”
Little Johnny was in class one day when the teacher asked the students to use the word “contagious” in a sentence. Johnny replied, “My father was contagious last night after he ate too much chili.”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to use the word “hypocrite” in a sentence. He replied, “My dad always says he’s going to quit smoking, but he never does. That makes him a hypocrite.”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher what the definition of “anarchy” was. Johnny replied, “That’s when my dad gets mad at my mom and tells her she can’t have any rules in the house.”
Little Johnny was in the playground when he saw two kids fighting. He asked them why they were fighting, and they replied, “We’re fighting over who gets to be Johnny’s dad.”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to use the word “inconceivable” in a sentence. He replied, “My dad thinks it’s inconceivable that I can get an A in math.”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to use the word “tremendous” in a sentence. He replied, “My dad makes a tremendous mess when he tries to cook.”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher to use the word “irony” in a sentence. He replied, “My dad always says he’s going to quit smoking, but he never does. That’s ironic.”
Little Johnny was in the playground when he saw a boy crying. He asked the boy why he was crying and the boy replied, “My dad said he’d”
Little Johnny was playing outside and saw two people kissing. He ran up to them and asked, “What are you doing?”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher why he was late to class. He replied, “My dad told me to go out and find the meaning of life, and I couldn’t find it so I thought I was in the wrong place.”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “If I gave you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?” Johnny replied, “Seven!” The teacher said, “No, Johnny, you would have six.” Johnny replied, “No, teacher, I would have seven. I already have one.”
Little Johnny was walking down the street and saw two boys fighting. He asked them why they were fighting, to which one of them replied, “It’s none of your business!” Little Johnny then replied, “Well, in that case, I’ll just have to break it up!”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to count to 10, and he counted to 11. The teacher asked him why he had done that, and Little Johnny replied,” I thought it was a free country!”
Little Johnny asked his mom why some of their neighbors had a car and they didn’t. His mom replied, “Because they work hard, and we don’t!” Little Johnny then asked, “Why don’t we work hard too?”
Little Johnny was asked to count to 20. He counted to 19, then said, “20, I’m done!”
Little Johnny asked his dad why the sky was blue. His dad replied, “That’s how God painted it.” Little Johnny then asked, “So why did he paint it that color?”
Little Johnny was asked to spell “dictionary”. He spelled it “d-i-c-k-s-h-o-n-a-r-y”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him to use the word “absurd” in a sentence. He replied, “My dad said I was making too much noise and that it was absurd!”
Little Johnny was in class one day when the teacher asked the question, “What is the importance of punctuation?” Little Johnny replied, “The importance of punctuation is that it tells the difference between a sentence like ‘Let’s eat Grandma’ and ‘Let’s eat, Grandma.’”
Little Johnny was in the playground when his teacher asked him what he was doing. Johnny replied, “I’m playing hangman.” His teacher asked, “Why don’t you play something more educational?” Johnny replied, “But this IS educational, I’m learning to spell.”
Little Johnny was in the playground when his teacher asked him why he was making such a big mess. Little Johnny said, “I’m making a snowwoman.” The teacher said, “But it’s 75 degrees outside.” Johnny replied, “Yeah, but you said I should make my own fun.”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “What are three important things in life?” Little Johnny replied, “Food, water, and Facebook.” The teacher said, “No, those aren’t the most.”
Little Johnny asked his teacher, “Do you punish people for things they don’t do?” The teacher replied, “No, of course not.” “Good,” said Little Johnny, “because I didn’t do my homework.”
Little Johnny’s teacher asked him, “How can you multiply six by seven?” Little Johnny replied, “Twelve!” The teacher said, “No, you have to think carefully. How can you multiply six by seven?” Little Johnny replied, “I don’t know, but I know you can’t multiply seven by six!”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher, “If I give you two cats and then two more cats, how many cats would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Four.” The teacher said, “No, think carefully. I said, if I give you two cats and then two more cats, how many cats would you have?” Little Johnny replied, “Four!”
Little Johnny was asked by his teacher, “If there are three birds on a telephone wire and you shoot one, how many are left?” Little Johnny replied, “None, because the other two flew away in fright!”
Why did Little Johnny get in trouble at school? He was caught writing on the chalkboard with a pen.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him why he was late? He said he was trying to outrun a bear.
Why did Little Johnny get upset when his teacher asked him a question? He said, “I can’t answer that, I don’t have Google!”
What did Little Johnny do when his teacher asked him to spell ‘cat’? He said, “K-A-T, easy as 1-2-3!”
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him what 4 plus 4 was? He said, “Sixteen, I think?”
What did Little Johnny’s teacher say when he asked for a bathroom break? She said, “No way, you’ll just try to get out of doing your work!”
Why did Little Johnny’s teacher get mad at him? He was playing games on his phone during class.
Why did Little Johnny’s teacher get mad at him for eating in class? He was eating candy and not paying attention.
What did Little Johnny say when his teacher asked him to turn off his phone? He said, “It’s not my phone, it’s my life!”
Why You Should Use Little Johnny Jokes?
Little Johnny jokes have been bringing laughs to kids and adults alike for many generations. But why should you use Little Johnny jokes in your conversations and presentations? Here’s why.
First and foremost, Little Johnny jokes are some of the best kind of jokes around. They’re clever, funny, and they always have a surprise element that keeps them interesting. They’re also a great way to lighten the mood and take the pressure off of a serious conversation.
Second, Little Johnny jokes can be tailored to any age group. Whether you’re talking to a group of young kids or adults, everyone can enjoy a good Little Johnny joke. Plus, they can be used in a variety of settings, so you don’t have to worry about offending anyone or coming off as crass.
Third, Little Johnny jokes can spark conversations. A clever Little Johnny joke at the right moment can lead to a great conversation that can last for hours. You’ll be surprised how many interesting topics can be discussed when someone in the group starts talking about Little Johnny jokes.
Finally, Little Johnny jokes can help build relationships. Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or classmates, sharing a Little Johnny joke can help break the ice and make everyone feel more comfortable around each other. It’s a fun way to show that you care and can help to build a stronger bond between everyone.
