21 New Relationship Questions

If life were a movie, your relationship would look something like this: An ultimate meet-cute would have you locked eyes and know in your heart that they’re The One from the first kiss. Cut to montage of sunset strolls holding hands, and later a tandem bicycle ride.

However, In real life, relationships tend to unfold a little less cinematically. A relationship’s beginning can be challenging but can also make or break its longevity. 

In the early stages of your relationship, as the two of you discover more about each other, it’s good to ask relationship questions to get to know one another better. By asking questions, you can gain a deeper understanding of your partner’s beliefs, interests, likes & dislikes, and worldview.

By doing this, you will develop a stronger bond, truly understand each other and you may even become close to each other. As a way to help you in your pursuit to ask your partner better questions in order to improve your relationship and better understand your partner, we have listed 21 best questions to ask your partner.

Why & How Should You Ask these 21 Relationship Questions

If you ask the right relationship questions at any point in your relationship, you can make your connection stronger and work towards shared goals.

From your earliest dating days as you try to understand who the other is to your later stages and  as you determine whether or not the relationship is moving towards a commitment, we’ve got important relationship questions to ask your partner.

It can help you better understand your partner’s background, motivations, and current passions and determine whether your lives are compatible.

Although these questions often lead to love or you’re already in love, they can still give you a lot of insight into your partner and their past.

Nevertheless, if you use these questions, you don’t have to make it too obvious and ask them one by one just like you would in an interview. 

You can ask these questions one at a time or you can make it fun by making it as a Q&A game. It is however of utmost importance that you get to know as much about them as possible.  

Basic Relationship Questions To Know Your Partner

Basic Relationship Questions To know your partner

1. Are you looking for commitment?

Of all the 21 relationship questions we have listed, this is probably the most important. Asking this question will give you a quick idea of whether or not you have a long-term relationship or are just on a booty call.

It is important to ask a person if they also feel the same way about a committed relationship. This will clear up any misconceptions about moving forward. Understanding where they stand will help you make a more informed decision regarding how you choose to move forward with your partner.

2. Who are you closest to in your family?

Ask her this relationship question if you want to gain an understanding of her family dynamics. Taking this a step further, you can also ask her about her family and her upbringing. Become familiar with their family members and the type of family they belong to. 

3. What is the most important thing to do on your bucket list before you die?

The more you know about their most important bucket list item, the easier it will be for you to help them achieve it or even participate in it together with them.

Additionally, you will get a better sense of what is most important to them in their lives and about them as a person.

4. What are some things you dream about doing in your future?

Find out what they are capable of dreaming about in terms of their future plans and aspirations. Having a clear understanding of how they see future possibilities can give us insight into their outlook.

In addition, if you two have been keeping it real for some time, you can also help them to achieve their dreams in the future.

5. What do you like to do in your free time?

Using this relationship question, you will be able to gain a glimpse into their hobbies, interests, and how they spend their free time. Then, you will be able to figure out if they’re really creative and interesting, and also understand their free time, which will make it easier to schedule future dates.

6. Which is your favorite movie, book, Tv shows etc?

In this relationship question, we are trying to understand all of their likes and favorites. Knowing your partner’s interests, likes and dislikes is the most important part of any relationship.

Furthermore, you can plan future dates based on their preferences, such as watching her favorite movie, trying her favorite dish, or gifting her favorite gift.

7. What are some things you do that make you happy?

The goal of this relationship question is to get to know them better so we can know if they are capable of creating their own happiness and not relying on others.

Check out if they have any tools in their pocket for creating happiness in their lives, so that they can bring positive vibes and new energy to the relationship.

8. Do you want to raise children one day?

If you think you’d like to have children one day, raise this question early on in your relationship. It’s a good way to find out if you’re on the same page, and if you’re not, your partner will let you know. 

9. Which place on earth have you always dreamed of visiting?

Traveling together with your partner and discovering new places and adventures is one of the best parts of your relationship. Find out where they dream to go, and schedule your time and travel there together.

If you have a dream destination of your own, you can take them there as well.

10. What kind of music do you like?

Though it may sound cheesy, we are generally more connected to music than anything else. Generally, we listen to music to heal and connect with it, and we usually listen to songs that we relate to.

The lyrics can also help you know her better, and music can make a huge difference in your space’s energy and ambiance.

11. What are some of your hobbies you are passionate about?

Get to know about her hobbies that they’re really passionate about. The way someone spends their time can give you a lot of insight into their character. A person who likes to snuggle up at home with Netflix and their pet is likely to be low-key and likes to relax. However, if they embrace all possible outdoor activities they are likely to be adventurous. 

Deep Relationship Questions 

Deep Relationship Questions

12. How did your previous relationship end and what did you learn from it?

Obviously, talking about one’s past relationship isn’t pleasant, but it is incredibly important to learn about your partner from their past mistakes. Furthermore, you can learn if they’ve been in abusive or toxic relationships in the past, which requires time to heal, so you treat them better than their previous relationship. 

13. Have you been to therapy or have you tried alternative healing methods?

The purpose of this relationship question is to find out if they take care of their own mental health. Healing from past issues is a process that everyone needs help with. Take the opportunity to find out if they have been willing to take care of themselves on a deeper level.

14. What scares you the most?

People are scared of so many things, so knowing this about your partner will enable you to support them effectively. Keeping yourself in your comfort zone will ensure that you live a small life, irrespective of whether it has to do with your relationship, career, or death.

Furthermore, you want to know if there is a vulnerable side to them that they are willing to share with you in order to understand them better.

15. Are there any exes still in the picture?

You should ask this question before you get into a relationship with your partner. A crazy ex of your partner is just too much and something you should never have in your relationship, believe me. Having dealt with this issue myself, I know how annoying and troublesome it is to deal with.

16. What are your religious or spiritual beliefs?

Discover your partner’s spiritual leanings. There is no doubt that you will be drawn to finding a life partner who shares the same philosophy of spiritual connection, if not a religious one.

In any lasting relationship, a spiritual practice is becoming increasingly recognized as a fundamental component. If their beliefs do not align with yours, make sure you research what they believe so that you are prepared. 

17. Do you believe in karma, revenge or forgiveness?

Typically, people blind themselves with hatred and rage with an extent of desire for revenge or vengeance, which are very harmful for their mental health and peace. Discover whether your partner’s attitude reflects such hatred positively or negatively.

A positive mindset and the belief in forgiveness would be a better way to conquer such hatred than fueling it with negativity.

18. Why did you cry the last time you did so?

People often think of crying as a sign of vulnerability, but crying will actually relieve you of a lot of pain and suffering in life. There is no way for us to know what people have been through and how hard the times most have been for them.

Support them as they answer this question and try to understand their hard times.

19. What do you usually do to take care of yourself?

In order to be at your best every day, not only when you get sick, it is so vital that you take proper care of your body, mind, and soul. You will be able to get a better sense of how they cope with hard times and how they take care of themselves by asking them this question. 

20. How do you define an ideal and healthy relationship?

In answering this relationship question, you can find out what her true expectations are from a relationship with you, as well as what her true values are. You will get plenty of ideas from this relationship question regarding what steps you should take in your relationship.  

21. What is your love language?

Each of the five love languages is used to express and receive love differently: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Everyone communicates love differently, and people prefer to receive love in different ways. Having a clear understanding of your partner’s love language will provide you with a clear understanding of what specific things make them feel loved the most. 

However, these are more than just questions, they are a tool for kicking off meaningful conversations and  deeply learning more about each other.


The point of asking these relationship questions is not to undermine your relationship, but rather to identify an area that needs strengthening so you can survive not just good, but also bad times together.

Through open and honest communication, couples can build trust, mutual understanding, and compassion with one another. Being vulnerable, and actively listening to your partner, reveals a lot about their character, their values, their past and their future visions.

Taking part in such an activity gives you the chance to discover more about your partner. It is through understanding that compassion and love are possible, and relationship questions will help us to obtain that understanding, enabling us to gain a better understanding of our partner’s behavior and attitudes.

Further Reading

70+ Funny Questions To Ask a Girl You Like

How To Make Your Girlfriend Horny

About author


Alex Marz is a self-help and relationship expert who understands and loves the individual's philosophy and wants nothing more than to repair the broken relationships, spark chemistry, and make you succeed in your life.
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